nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
