Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
