morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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