My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
you never un-have a 4some
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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