i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
