It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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