try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
