Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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