Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize