I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
