the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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