I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
