My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
