Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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