Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
