That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
