people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
