i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
