do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
