i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
