I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize