I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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