The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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