did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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