My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
