If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
