I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
