It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
