Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
