Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Damn victory sex feels great
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
