Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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