I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
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He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
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I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize