I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
