There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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