Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
