I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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