remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
