YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
