Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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