My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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