the day after is always just damage control
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
