At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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