So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
two words...techno handjob
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Damn victory sex feels great
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
