I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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