she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
