OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
