I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize