No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
