I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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