So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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