i think i have herpe
just one?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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