what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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