Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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