i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
