I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
