It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
