You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
