I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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