There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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