Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
