He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
