Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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