Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
