Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
